Just two years ago I had no long term plans for my life and the thought of kids or marriage weren't even in the back of my head. Yet, here I am; working as much as I can, not because I want to but because I have to. Sacrificing peeing alone or going out with friends. Heading to bed early because I know I will have to be up early. I don't resent these things (I love being a mother to such a perfect boy), but with these things comes the sacrifices everyone warns you about, and there is just no preparing for it.
I mostly love my life, but some days aren't easy. I guess life is truly a struggle no matter what stage of it you are in. When I was 16, I couldn't wait until I was 18. When I was 18, I couldn't wait until I was 21. Now I am 23 and I wish I didn't wish for life to pass by so quickly. I miss my old life, but I hated my old life. I hated being single. I hated being broke. I hated living with my parents. I hated trying to figure out who I was or who I wanted to be, and now? Now I have all of those things. So why do I miss it? Maybe I miss being single, or broke, or living with my folks, because it meant life was simple. No one to care for except for myself. But what a horrible way to live.
I'm sick of passing life by because I'm missing my old life, or wishing it were different, or better. The fact is my life is the best it is ever going to be right now in this moment.
I'll never be happier, or younger, or stronger...
I am a married 23 year old who is a mother to her 1 year old son.
And I am blessed.
No comments:
Post a Comment