A Sleep Deprived Mom

They tell you that your life is going to change, and that you'll never sleep again after kids. You think, "Yeah, yeah. That's what everyone says." But for me, Grayson was a fairly easy newborn to take care of. I thought, "Wow, we are so lucky to have such a well behaved, carefree, and easy baby." He slept through the night almost immediately , and he was easy to settle if he got upset at night. He typically let me sleep until 9 or later every morning, and other then the usual tiredness anyone might experience, I really wasn't sleep deprived. Then, when he was about 9 or 10 months old, Grayson decided to never sleep again. At least that's what it feels like.

Grayson has been going through a phase where he wakes up screaming every couple hours, and we can't figure out how to calm him down. We thought maybe it was night terrors, or maybe teething. We eventually just had to let him cry it out and figure out how to self-sooth; to put himself back to sleep. It always got better for a few days, but then it would get bad again.

As of now the screaming has pretty much stopped, but he still wakes up every couple of hours; but he usually goes straight back to sleep after I lay him back down and cover him up.

I don't think I have ever been this tired; I mean, I've been tired, but I've always had the chance to catch up with it. But when you have a baby, and still trying to juggle work, there is no time to catch up. Some nights that I go into work I am so tired, it almost makes me feel sick. I sometimes think, "Should I even be here right now?" but how do you tell your boss you should go home because you are tired?

On top of this, my sweet baby is sick right now, which is adding to the lost sleep at night.  Nothing is worse than when your baby is sick. You just want to take it all away from them, but you just have to let them ride it out.

On the bright side, we have had a very cuddly, calm and lazy day today, and can I just point out how cute these jammies are?

I am hoping this phase will pass soon, but for now I will survive on coffee, and just enjoy the fact that my baby still needs his mama. Parenthood is such a joy that even on my most sleepy of days, I can't help but smile back at this face and be thankful for the life I have been given. Sleep deprived or not.

First Time at the Park

Last week I was able to take Grayson to the park. My sister came and picked us up because I have been without a car for a handful of months now, after it blew up or something. (I don't know anything about cars, clearly.) My sister has two handsome twin boys (19 months) and a beautiful baby girl, (4 months). It was so nice getting out of the house and into some fresh air for an afternoon. Last summer Grayson wasn't big enough to actually play at the park, so this was technically his first time. He loved it. We were there for about 3 hours straight, and we played so hard I thought I was going to fall over. He started walking about a month ago, and is practically a full time walker now, so he was independent the whole time. My arms are thankful for that! 

Grayson hated the baby swing. Whenever I put him in he would just freeze up and look at the ground, and once I started swinging him he would start crying and reach for me. What he did love was the slide though. He did so good he would slide down all by himself. Although he is my first baby, he just seems so advanced to me for an 11 month old. How blessed am I?